Getting To Know Mr. Meltdown

GETTING TO KNOW MR. MELTDOWN

Today I was thinking about what would be the most effective method of losing weight. I wanted to find a more practical approach that is less mentally straining. You know it is so easy sometimes to acknowledge you have an eating disorder, but when you have to commit to living and eating right is when it gets hard.

Since I have started this diet and had a visualization of becoming fit, things have been uphill. There are times that my subconscious mind may play tricks on me. I may start the day feeling like this diet is easy and then later feel like I can eat anything in sight.

I know that getting this way did not happen overnight and it will not come off that way either. But sometimes I do wish that this change would not seem like such a mountain to climb.

BACK IN THE DAY

I remember like it was yesterday how I used to read Muscle and Fitness magazines and was so inspired buy my heroes like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno and Lee Haney.

These guys made me want to look like them and impress all the ladies with my amazing body.

I worked out hard and eat right and even looked great with my shirt off. I could shop where ever I wanted for close and never had problems sitting in public seats. I was fit and did not even realize how lucky I was to be fit because I was in the skin. But things changed and I refuse to use the excuse that “I got older and that is why I am fat.”

I got fat because I was so popular and over confident that I just did not care to keep up the maintenance of fitness and good health practices.

THE FAT MAN SINGS

I was also a very popular musician and produced music for many popular artists in the recording industry. I remember in the 90’s being introduced to this dude, I will not mention his name right now, who at the time had a hit record. He invited me to his studio one day to work on a session with another rap artist who had a record out and was working on his album. This was before CD’s became as popular as they are now LOL. My input and production skills got me in and the rest was history!

I became best friends with an artist who had a hit record so I inherited some of that fame for being his best friend. Don’t get me wrong we became real friends like brothers and were tight! I was all of a sudden eating with people I read about in Word Up magazine and saw on TV.

I found myself even dating some pop artist and found myself in the studio 24 -7 eating pizza and not working out anymore. My life was a dream and I was living fast and just did not have time to worry about my health. I am telling you that lifestyle of music and also dating a TV personality and eventually doing some shows with her was seductive as hell. Then to top it off my best friend and I formed a singing group and signed a recording contract. It was moving soooo fast I am telling you.

I went from Derek the average guy to living the life that most young men dream of including me before I got my VIP pass to the fast life.

THE BIG WEIGHT GAIN

I started to pick up weight and did not even realize it. I saw my six pack turn into a keg and did not care because I was living the life! As you know all good things must come to an end.

Time moved on and my best friend got married and then I got married and then we drifted on to our own ways. Now I am divorced and still have some youth left in me I am finding that I want the old me back. You know the part of me that cares about my health and would not be seen on the summer streets without wearing just a tank top and jeans.

I just want to live life again without fear of feeling like my weight is an issue. This is why I am pushing so hard to reach my mini goals. I guess losing my mother and sister also played a huge part of me deciding to lose this weight once and for all. It is such a crazy life we live then you find it is all gone in a blink of an eye wondering where it all went.

I know now as an adult that nothing lasts forever. One thing I do know is if I lose weight and get in shape I will be here, on earth, long enough to have a second chance at life and I feel that I am “WORTH THE EFFORT”.

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